兔子对乌龟说：信息时代，下次比赛你的毅力跑不过我的电子系统。乌龟说：科技发达了，你再快的飞毛腿也跑不过我的核反应堆。兔子说：核武器是限制使用的。乌龟说：生活新规则，永远是龟定。,

528我爱发，虽然暂时还没有发，但是俺相信总有一天俺会发。等俺发了，俺连马桶都要金子做的，房子都是金子垒成的，车子也是金子做成的。累了就弄张金子床睡一觉，烦了就拿着金子往大街上丢。,

“藏二”诗：“一蓑一笠一扁舟，一丈丝纶一寸钩；一曲高歌一樽酒，一人独钓一江秋”。舟，二桨；钩，二环；酒，二锅头；秋，二目秋波。俺最懂你“二”，所以“藏二”诗送你，你懂得。祝开心快乐。,

和老公一起去泡温泉，大家都穿泳衣。一对情侣从我们身边走过，那男的偷偷瞄了我一眼。我对老公撒娇说："那个男的看了我一眼，怎么办？"老公得意地笑着说："没事，我看了他老婆好几眼呢，咱们赚了！",

曾经有个小屁孩，考试只考了18分。然后他拿红笔添了一横，变成了

然后又在7的上面多加了半圈，然后就变成了

拿回家给他妈看，他妈妈说："这么明显的改动，你以为我看不出来其实你只考了78分！",

机密档案：姓名：董存瑞，绰号：四虎子，死因：爆炸至死！经过：总攻开始了，连长发了个炸药包给“四虎子”，说道：“两面都有胶，往碉堡上一粘就行！祝你成功！临别遗言：”连长，我操你妈！两面都有胶！,

小时候，有一天我突发奇想，想研究一下电视的内部结构，就把电视给拆开了。我爸知道后和我说“你若安好，便是晴天。”我心想：“老爸这么文艺，那肯定是原谅我了。”谁知道老爸又补充了一句：“你若安不好，老子揍扁你！”

看到差距，认真分析，找出原因。只要努力，必能进步！,See the gap, carefully analyze, find out the reason. As long as we work hard, we will make progress.,

如果你在春天里开始播种，那么，秋天就会有喜人的收获。为了秋天的丰收，今天就开始耕耘吧！,If you start sowing in spring, there will be gratifying harvest in autumn. For the harvest of autumn, begin to plough today.,

理想的琴，须拔动奋斗的弦，才能奏出人生美妙动听的乐章。,The ideal piano must pull the strings of struggle before it can play the beautiful and beautiful movement of life.,

不去耕耘，不去播种，再肥的沃土也长不出庄稼，不去奋斗，不去创造，再美的青春也结不出硕果。,No farming, no sowing, no more fertile soil can grow crops, no struggle, no creation, no matter how beautiful the youth can not bear fruit.,

以全身心的努力去拼搏，以最顽强的信心去争取，以最平常的心理去对待。,Work hard with your heart and soul, strive for the most dogged confidence, and treat it with the most ordinary mentality.,

这世界上没有不适合学习的人，只是有人没有找到适合自己的学习方法罢了。,There are no unsuitable people in the world, but some people have not found a suitable way to learn.,

自信，是无尽智慧的凝聚。平淡，是成功路上的驿站。,Self confidence is the condensation of endless wisdom. Insipid, it is the post office on the road to success.,

啊，同学们，让我们在飞逝而去的时间波涛上，乘风破浪，驶向成功的彼岸！,Ah, schoolmates, let's ride the wind and break the waves on the waves of time that fly away, and drive to the other side of success!,

你有涌泉一样的智慧和一双辛勤的手，不管你身在何处，幸运与快乐时刻陪伴着你！,You have the wisdom of a spring and a pair of hard-working hands, no matter where you are, luck and happiness always accompany you!,

你珍惜今天，又以百倍的热情去拥抱明天，那未，未来就一定属于你！,You cherish today, and embrace the future with a hundred times of enthusiasm. No, the future will belong to you!,

你的天赋好比一朵火花，假如你用勤勉辛劳去助燃，它一定会变成熊熊烈火，放出无比的光和热来。,Your talent is like a spark, if you use hard work to help burn, it will become a blazing fire, emit incomparable light and heat.,

新学期，新思想，新形象，新的开始；抓常规，主动学，刻苦学，学而不厌。,New semester, new ideas, new image, new start; pay attention to routine, active learning, assiduous learning, learning without tire.,

不做最好的别人，只做最好的自己。,

你用才智和学识取得今天的收获，又将以明智和果敢接受明天的挑战。愿你永葆一往无前精神。,You gain today's harvest with wisdom and knowledge, and will accept tomorrow's challenges wisely and resolute. May you keep on going forward.,

未来的道路，你要一步步踏实，再远都有我的心跟随。,The future road, you must step by step, and have my heart to follow.,