做家具的是木材，懂诗词的是秀才，众人想的是钱财，看消息的是蠢才。,Do furniture is lumber， understand poetry is scholar， they think of is money， the message is a fool。,

地震不稀奇，洪水也不稀奇，火上喷发更不稀奇，最稀奇的是：小猪竟然会看信息！,Earthquake not curious， not the flood fire erupted more not rare， the most surprising is that the pig should see information！,

放心，接收这条短信不会对你造成太大损失，仅仅会使你手机内存储的信息全部删除。,Rest assured， receiving this message you will not cause too much loss， just can make your phone delete all stored information。,

祝你：打牌运气拉不住，豹子金花把把出，别人瞪眼你笑脸，别人掏钱你收钱。,Wish you： playing CARDS is not luck， the leopard golden flower hang out， others stare you smile， people pay you money。,

爸爸今天打了我两次，第一次是因为看见了我手里两分的成绩单，第二次是因为成绩单是他小时候的。,Dad hit me twice today， because for the first time saw my hand two report card， the second is his childhood because transcripts。,

你有天使的面孔，魔鬼的身材，就连你放屁的姿势都那么优美。可在大庭广众之下，控制一下节奏好吗？,Do you have a angel face， devil figure， even you fart posture is so beautiful。 Can in public under， control the tempo？,

彩票中了五百万，业务提升为骨干；房子贷款已还完，睡醒一觉变貂禅。你美了吧！,Lottery in five million， promoted as the backbone of business； The house loan has also finished， wake up sleep diau charn。 You are beautiful！,

经证实，你就是N年前逃亡的犯罪嫌疑人XXX，您已被警方控制，请速到**局自首。,It's proved that the fugitive suspects XXX， you are N years ago you have been controlled by the police， please surrender to the police。,

你真是个天才――天生的蠢才，毕业于哈佛――哈尔滨佛学院，长得也不错――长得这样真的不是你的错！,You're a genius - born fool， graduated from harvard， Harbin institute of buddhist studies， looks pretty good also， this really isn't you of wrong！,

我只是难过不能陪你一起老,

你已在我们监视范围，不要左看右看！你现在只有把手机放在地上，然后先前走，不能回头！,You have been in our monitoring scope， don't left see right to see！ You now only put mobile phone on the ground， then walk earlier， can't turn back！,

警告：你的浴室在三个月前被安装了针孔摄像机，VCD将于三天后以特快专递寄给你，请注意查收！,Warning： your bathroom in the three months ago was installed pinhole cameras， VCD will be sent to you by DHL in three days later， please find！,

如果你不是摩托罗拉那种防水的手机的话，看短信时请注意，别笑得口水流到机子上，那会坏的。,If you are not a MOTOROLA that waterproof phone， please pay attention to when watching SMS， don't laugh mouth water to the machines， it would be bad。,

有个乌龟没事干，潜入水底下个蛋，下完蛋后去找蛋，没有发现这个蛋，要问此蛋在哪里？正把手机短信看！,A tortoise hazelnut， diving under an egg， to find egg under gone， have not found the egg， to ask where the eggs？ Is the mobile phone short message！,

我是冤魂，我死在你们寝室楼的地下室，去年我被肢解了，每天晚上我都向上爬，你能过来拉我一把么，我在你床边。,I am， my death in your dormitory building basement， last year I was dismembered， every night I up， can you come over to pull me a hand， I in your bed。,

你怒气冲冲的冲进某单位，嚷道：这里是动物保护协会吗？工作职员：是啊，请问是谁欺负你了？,You angry rushed into one unit， rang way： here is the animal protection association？ Working staff： yes， could you tell me who bully you？,

你绝情一闪而过令我顿时迷失自我，我真想把你留住，但沉浸在今生难忘的一刹间，我不能让你走，我大叫：抓贼啊！,You girlfriend。may a flash I suddenly lost myself， I really want to keep you， but immersed in a memorable moment， this life I can't let you go， I cry， stop thief！,

你比镜子还能反映我的缺点，你比庄子还博学多才，你比孙子还有谋略。所以我们都亲切的叫你：“镜庄孙子”。,You than mirror can reflect my faults， you than zhuangzi Renaissance， you than grandchildren and discretion。 So we all kind of call you： "mirror zhuang grandson"。,

手机保养新方法：每次开机后5秒钟内，将手机放入一盆清水中浸泡10分钟，手机的寿命将提高一倍。,New mobile phone maintenance methods： every boot after 5 seconds， the phone into a basin of clear water soak for 10 minutes， the service life of mobile phone will double。,

鸡是用做下蛋的，牛是有活就干的，猫是挨家混饭的，羊是将来烤串的，狗是让人来惯的，你是等着出圈的。,Is used to lay eggs， chicken cow is living on dry， the cat went very seriously， sheep are barbecue in the future， a dog is a let a person to be used， you are waiting for ones。,

快打开电视，看41频道，在放超好玩超搞笑的电视节目,，我肚子都笑痛了！打开了吗？茫然了吗？哈哈，愚人节快乐！,Quick turn on the television， watching channel 41， in a super fun super funny TV program， my belly laugh pain！ The open？ The vacant？ Ha ha， happy April fool's day！,

以前我只知道，小猪不会说话，就知道哼哼，可是后来遇到了你，才知道原来你比小猪还会哼，正说你呢，你还哼！,Before， I only know that the pig can't talk， just know hum， but later met you， just know originally you than pig will hum， say， how about you， do you still hum！,

因网络扩建，您的手机如出现信息不良，请将手机使劲往地上砸，如有困难，我们24小时免费上门服务！,Appear because of the network expansion， such as your mobile information， please phone the floor to hit hard， if you have difficulty， we 24 hours door-to-door service for free！,

你帅你帅，头顶一窝白菜，身披一条麻袋，腰缠一根海带，自认为是东方不败，其实是衰神二代！,You handsome you handsome， the top of the head a nest of cabbage， wearing a sack， waist a stick of kelp， thought is east don't hurt， is actually a failure god the second generation！,

最近表现不太好，跟我联系有些少，赶快给我道个歉，电话短信随你便，最好请我吃顿饭，我们还是好伙伴！,Recent performance is not very good， contact me some little， get give me an apology， phone message with you， had better ask me to eat meal， we are still good partner！,